Couple of months have passed since my last post. I've been trying to self educate myself. It is good, but it is mind boggling.
This statement is false.
It means that it self ascertains it is false, possibly everything it says is true. How can it be true if it is false. So it is definitely false as well. But if it is false then it can't be true.
Based on the liar paradox, here is another one (it is not a paradox though):
I am a liar.
It means that i am a liar which is true, but it also means that I speak truth, as the sentence itself implies that I do speak truth sometimes, for instance while speaking the above sentence.
So when you say you are a liar you are speaking the truth/ or may be lying, I guess the sentence is incorrect technically.
I started reading something about management, and I ended up reading liar's paradox. I thought that I would get here if I'd be reading about lawyers. But I guess management is in the same boat.
The bottom line is that I wasted a lot of time on things that are pretty much useless. Procrastinate now.
Monday, June 7, 2010
Thursday, January 28, 2010
saved by the Loo
I have been saved twice because either one of my friend or me, badly wanted to go to the toilet .
First Incident
Well it was a beautiful summer weekend...about eleven-ish in the morning. My friend came to my home...we decided to pick-up other idiots and go for a fishing trip near Newcastle and then head towards Woolgoolga...need to find a fishing spot where few venture. Woolgoolga is whoop whoop land...we planned it perfectly.... ( whoop whoop land is ...where there is no one...I invented that term!!)
Bait box---Check
Tackle box---Check
Ugly sticks---Check (fishing rods)
Food---Check
V-drink--Check
We even carry a portable gas-stove with us...and it always stays in the car...coz we usually don't plan...we just go for it.
Well we sat in the car...and I realized that I forgot my wallet in the house...and my friend needed to use the loo.
My friend bolted like a 100 meter sprinter...I was wondering why the hell was he holding it upto to point that he would explode!!
I just opend the porch gate...and I heard a loud WHAAAMMMM. I turned around and my car was gone!!
A soccer mom drove her V6 Land Cruiser Prada over my car...i mean OVER my car literally. She had 5 kids inside. She dragged my car to about 40 meters...she had her hands over her ears and eyes tight shut...she was screaming even after the car had stopped. Her car had Mounted my CAR.
NOTHING....absolutely nothing happened to her Prada...she had a freakin heavy bull bar in front....it just got a little scratches on it's chrome. My car was a write-off. My favorite fishing rods...tackle box..everything gone!!
I pulled out a chair for her...gave her a glass of water...paramedics...arrived...Every one was so sympathetic for her even me...except my heart got crushed...my first love passed away!!
Her reason for accident was SUN...she managed to crash into a parked car....because she got glare in her eyes ( GOOD ONE !!) and she also said that she was driving under the speed limit! ( REALLY!!!) My guess is she was doing atleast 70 Km/hour...
My car was a sedan and it became a hatch back...the rear seat was in the front...and my ugly sticks were embedded in the rear seat's metal back. Including my tool kit....fortunately the gas-stove did not go off. It looked like my car was wearing a TUTU.
I would say that we were saved by piss...if we were still in the car we'd have been dead.
Second Incident
It was my turn to visit the supermarket to get grocery...as usual I forgot my wallet at home...but I had 50 dollars in my jeans..I always do that...in case I forget...coz I did not have ANY CAR, I had to walk 2 kms to get to the supermarket.
I picked up the trolley with stuff in it and headed back home...the bloody trolley would go side ways!! it was hard controlling it...and after a kilometer I realized that I need to go to the toilet...and the pressure was mounting my bladder was about to burst...there are no public loos on the way...that's why I FORGOT TO USE THE LOO IN THE SHOPPING MALL.
The pressure gives a person enormous strength...I started running....hoping to make it to home on time...i even kept the key in my hand....coz I know it is when you stop...the accident can happen. The freaking trolley went side ways all the time....but I WAS A MAN ON A MISSION.
BUT NO...How can everything go alright. A tall- well built 17 year-old kept following me...and he stopped me...and asked me to empty my pockets....this is how it went:
Attacker: Bro empty your pockets or you go home on a strecher.
( OH! GREAT....I want to go MAN...I need to get to the toilet...GOD..)
Me: I don't have any...I left my wallet at home...here is 5 dollars...take it...also you can have what's in the trolley. ( I was dancing while I was talking....)...buddy you got to let me go...may be you can take my number and fix an appointment later...you can have a go at me later...please take a rain-check right now...COZ I REALLY REALLY NEED TO GO TO TOILET.
Attacker: I have never seen any Indian dance like you do!!
ME: If you like it...I'll teach you sometime....I PROMISE...LET ME GO MAN....GOD...I never wet my pants since I left the diapers...I don't want to start now.
Attacker: ha ha ha haha....HA HA HA HA HA....go away man...you are one funny guy!!
ME: Thanx....give me your number we'll hang out some time... (WHY AM I SAYING THIS)...nyways I got to run.........
IT WAS CLOSE....no not about being mugged....I made it to the toilet.
First Incident
Well it was a beautiful summer weekend...about eleven-ish in the morning. My friend came to my home...we decided to pick-up other idiots and go for a fishing trip near Newcastle and then head towards Woolgoolga...need to find a fishing spot where few venture. Woolgoolga is whoop whoop land...we planned it perfectly.... ( whoop whoop land is ...where there is no one...I invented that term!!)
Bait box---Check
Tackle box---Check
Ugly sticks---Check (fishing rods)
Food---Check
V-drink--Check
We even carry a portable gas-stove with us...and it always stays in the car...coz we usually don't plan...we just go for it.
Well we sat in the car...and I realized that I forgot my wallet in the house...and my friend needed to use the loo.
My friend bolted like a 100 meter sprinter...I was wondering why the hell was he holding it upto to point that he would explode!!
I just opend the porch gate...and I heard a loud WHAAAMMMM. I turned around and my car was gone!!
A soccer mom drove her V6 Land Cruiser Prada over my car...i mean OVER my car literally. She had 5 kids inside. She dragged my car to about 40 meters...she had her hands over her ears and eyes tight shut...she was screaming even after the car had stopped. Her car had Mounted my CAR.
NOTHING....absolutely nothing happened to her Prada...she had a freakin heavy bull bar in front....it just got a little scratches on it's chrome. My car was a write-off. My favorite fishing rods...tackle box..everything gone!!
I pulled out a chair for her...gave her a glass of water...paramedics...arrived...Every one was so sympathetic for her even me...except my heart got crushed...my first love passed away!!
Her reason for accident was SUN...she managed to crash into a parked car....because she got glare in her eyes ( GOOD ONE !!) and she also said that she was driving under the speed limit! ( REALLY!!!) My guess is she was doing atleast 70 Km/hour...
My car was a sedan and it became a hatch back...the rear seat was in the front...and my ugly sticks were embedded in the rear seat's metal back. Including my tool kit....fortunately the gas-stove did not go off. It looked like my car was wearing a TUTU.
I would say that we were saved by piss...if we were still in the car we'd have been dead.
Second Incident
It was my turn to visit the supermarket to get grocery...as usual I forgot my wallet at home...but I had 50 dollars in my jeans..I always do that...in case I forget...coz I did not have ANY CAR, I had to walk 2 kms to get to the supermarket.
I picked up the trolley with stuff in it and headed back home...the bloody trolley would go side ways!! it was hard controlling it...and after a kilometer I realized that I need to go to the toilet...and the pressure was mounting my bladder was about to burst...there are no public loos on the way...that's why I FORGOT TO USE THE LOO IN THE SHOPPING MALL.
The pressure gives a person enormous strength...I started running....hoping to make it to home on time...i even kept the key in my hand....coz I know it is when you stop...the accident can happen. The freaking trolley went side ways all the time....but I WAS A MAN ON A MISSION.
BUT NO...How can everything go alright. A tall- well built 17 year-old kept following me...and he stopped me...and asked me to empty my pockets....this is how it went:
Attacker: Bro empty your pockets or you go home on a strecher.
( OH! GREAT....I want to go MAN...I need to get to the toilet...GOD..)
Me: I don't have any...I left my wallet at home...here is 5 dollars...take it...also you can have what's in the trolley. ( I was dancing while I was talking....)...buddy you got to let me go...may be you can take my number and fix an appointment later...you can have a go at me later...please take a rain-check right now...COZ I REALLY REALLY NEED TO GO TO TOILET.
Attacker: I have never seen any Indian dance like you do!!
ME: If you like it...I'll teach you sometime....I PROMISE...LET ME GO MAN....GOD...I never wet my pants since I left the diapers...I don't want to start now.
Attacker: ha ha ha haha....HA HA HA HA HA....go away man...you are one funny guy!!
ME: Thanx....give me your number we'll hang out some time... (WHY AM I SAYING THIS)...nyways I got to run.........
IT WAS CLOSE....no not about being mugged....I made it to the toilet.
Saturday, January 23, 2010
Question answer time
Although it seems that things have changed a lot, I think that they have just improvised a bit, like we used to wear hide and look stupid, now we wear a suit and a tie on a hot summer day and look stupid!
Because I spent a really really long time in Australia, now I am culturally half Australian. My first visit to India after a long spell, really got me thinking, the city seems the same, the smells feel the same, I recognize all the places I used to love and feel good about being back, the cow dung, potholes, dogs, cows, donkeys, buffaloes....It's my home alright.
It's the next few days when things started falling apart for me. I realized how much I have changed. The incessant honking of the horns on the street. People having loud conversations on their cell. It was annoying me a lot. And mostly how people could not talk without touching me or running their hands on my shoulder.
I was waking on the street, and this guy on a motor bike decided to spit while driving....I was sprayed with beetle nut juice...ruined my esprit t-shirt.
One day one of my far far away relative to pay me a visit. It was a proposal for his daughter. I'd never met this girl in my life. I don't know anything about her.
Their family decided to leave me and that girl alone for us to talk.
Here is the conversation/ interrogation question paper sheet:
My turn for asking:
Q1. what kind of guy are you looking for, you know...to spend the rest of your life with?
Ans: Decent, soft-spoken, intelligent, down to earth, well-settled, healthy, well groomed, charming, handsome, dark, tall... (ME: Thats all?...I am pretty sure you missed some. ME: Honey you need to go to a shrink)
Q2. If you had a chance to do something in life, what would it be?
Ans: I want to be an enginneer and a house wife. (Me: I thought you'd say world peace or work for UN and save Ethopia)
Q3. If your parents agree, would you get married to me?
Ans: I am ok with what my parents choose for me.
Q4 But you don't love me, we met for like 5 mins....you don't even know me... how did you decide that I will keep you happy?
Ans: I think so... ( Me: OK, I feel sorry for this girl, so sad...They have programed her)
I donnot but I dont ask much, so i kind of....said....your turn...shoot
Her turn for asking:
Q1. What do you do?
Ans: Many things, but mostly I concentrate on vital things like breathing, eating, farting, pissing, shitting....in-short living.
Q2. Do you work?
Ans: I hope so, most people think I work just fine, but I believe that I do not work out for many people that well.
Q3. What is your occupation?
Ans: I herd Cattle. Kind of a cowboy, only I am not that macho.
Q4. Do you eat non-veg food?
Ans: Oh, well my room-mate is Dr. Lecter Hanibal and he says that If I ask him what I ate, I wouldn't like it.
Q5. Do you have a girl-friend?
Ans: Yes, she is 1.8 liter DOHC, 120Kw, Lancer MR, I modified her myself, It took me three months. Bought her from an Auction.
Q6. Do you have a house?
Ans: Nope, I am a nomad. Cattle herding does not require it....Do you know how to milk Cow?
Q7. What are your hobbies?
Ans: Hobbies? reading books, singing songs, swimming, lawn tennis, table tennis, badminton, cricket, golf, rock climbing, para gliding ....I don't do any of it, I smoke pot for recreation.
Q8. How many children do you want?
Ans: Errr... excellent question, definitely, positively impressed...you are so smart, but how many can you produce?
Q9 Your mom said you were sick, what happened to you?
Ans: ADD, schizophrenia, sever depression and many more. But the doctor says we are all fine now. I am on happy pills, they keep me happy...oops time to pop one now!
And later I went out to meet this girl who was real fast, so fast...
She went like this:
She: So....Mr. Australia....you looking good, how many girls have you slept with. ( Oh alright, she called me Mr. Australia....and she is asking for my score card. Wonderful !! and that's just her opening sentence )
Me: I am fine thank you for asking........anyways...How many do you think?
She: Atleast 4
Me: You can tell that just by looking at my face?
She: I think so.
Me: what else do you think I do?....don't answer...I'll pass that... Thanx for meeting me...It was great to know about myself.
Because I spent a really really long time in Australia, now I am culturally half Australian. My first visit to India after a long spell, really got me thinking, the city seems the same, the smells feel the same, I recognize all the places I used to love and feel good about being back, the cow dung, potholes, dogs, cows, donkeys, buffaloes....It's my home alright.
It's the next few days when things started falling apart for me. I realized how much I have changed. The incessant honking of the horns on the street. People having loud conversations on their cell. It was annoying me a lot. And mostly how people could not talk without touching me or running their hands on my shoulder.
I was waking on the street, and this guy on a motor bike decided to spit while driving....I was sprayed with beetle nut juice...ruined my esprit t-shirt.
One day one of my far far away relative to pay me a visit. It was a proposal for his daughter. I'd never met this girl in my life. I don't know anything about her.
Their family decided to leave me and that girl alone for us to talk.
Here is the conversation/ interrogation question paper sheet:
My turn for asking:
Q1. what kind of guy are you looking for, you know...to spend the rest of your life with?
Ans: Decent, soft-spoken, intelligent, down to earth, well-settled, healthy, well groomed, charming, handsome, dark, tall... (ME: Thats all?...I am pretty sure you missed some. ME: Honey you need to go to a shrink)
Q2. If you had a chance to do something in life, what would it be?
Ans: I want to be an enginneer and a house wife. (Me: I thought you'd say world peace or work for UN and save Ethopia)
Q3. If your parents agree, would you get married to me?
Ans: I am ok with what my parents choose for me.
Q4 But you don't love me, we met for like 5 mins....you don't even know me... how did you decide that I will keep you happy?
Ans: I think so... ( Me: OK, I feel sorry for this girl, so sad...They have programed her)
I donnot but I dont ask much, so i kind of....said....your turn...shoot
Her turn for asking:
Q1. What do you do?
Ans: Many things, but mostly I concentrate on vital things like breathing, eating, farting, pissing, shitting....in-short living.
Q2. Do you work?
Ans: I hope so, most people think I work just fine, but I believe that I do not work out for many people that well.
Q3. What is your occupation?
Ans: I herd Cattle. Kind of a cowboy, only I am not that macho.
Q4. Do you eat non-veg food?
Ans: Oh, well my room-mate is Dr. Lecter Hanibal and he says that If I ask him what I ate, I wouldn't like it.
Q5. Do you have a girl-friend?
Ans: Yes, she is 1.8 liter DOHC, 120Kw, Lancer MR, I modified her myself, It took me three months. Bought her from an Auction.
Q6. Do you have a house?
Ans: Nope, I am a nomad. Cattle herding does not require it....Do you know how to milk Cow?
Q7. What are your hobbies?
Ans: Hobbies? reading books, singing songs, swimming, lawn tennis, table tennis, badminton, cricket, golf, rock climbing, para gliding ....I don't do any of it, I smoke pot for recreation.
Q8. How many children do you want?
Ans: Errr... excellent question, definitely, positively impressed...you are so smart, but how many can you produce?
Q9 Your mom said you were sick, what happened to you?
Ans: ADD, schizophrenia, sever depression and many more. But the doctor says we are all fine now. I am on happy pills, they keep me happy...oops time to pop one now!
And later I went out to meet this girl who was real fast, so fast...
She went like this:
She: So....Mr. Australia....you looking good, how many girls have you slept with. ( Oh alright, she called me Mr. Australia....and she is asking for my score card. Wonderful !! and that's just her opening sentence )
Me: I am fine thank you for asking........anyways...How many do you think?
She: Atleast 4
Me: You can tell that just by looking at my face?
She: I think so.
Me: what else do you think I do?....don't answer...I'll pass that... Thanx for meeting me...It was great to know about myself.
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