Saturday, April 19, 2008

The Renegade Road Ride

" I think I drive a Ferrari":

Meet the Ferrari
The State transport vehicles and rickshaws (three wheelers), u want a real adrenaline pumping scary ride, get on one of these. u got stomach trouble hop into one of these, 10 mins ride and u will be fine, who needs those stomach ache pills, and watch your blood turn cold and your face white, u'll forget about the car chases you watch in the movies.

The Insomniac:

After driving constantly for days he/she drives like a zombie goes in straight lines. Usually a truck driver and parents of a new born. Hardly breaks. Poor truck drivers who are already over loaded with Hashish end up killing people

I thought the break pedal is on the right side

The Kamikaze:

He/She was born to hit people. Only one thing goes through the mind of this person: Ahh i see a little space over there between the two cars let me jam me bike through that at neck breaking speed.

A successful Kamikaze Attack

The "I Own the Road" :

He drives in the middle of the road and makes sure that he never budges at more than 40km/hour. makes sure that all the people around him have to drive over the poth holes.

Now all i have to do is turn right to meet my foot

The Confused driver:

He is the one who is always confused. Changes his mind and turns at cross roads exactly when you think he is going to go straight.

Oh the other Left

The Scared ones:

They break at any time and they break hard. The only things that gets used in the car are the break liners.

Trying to get around on roads in India requires a Cholesterol free brave heart. You need to practice your hand eye co-ordination and your auto-reflex skills. It needs more prowess and stamina than an F1 driver. I mean if you can drive on Indian roads and stay alive; You'll find the Indy car or the WRC piece of cake.

I would Quit the Job too if i was them

People here think that side-lights are meant for blinking at pretty girls passing by, and you got to use the horn man; You heard that saying " Honk if you feel Horny", come to India my friend, there are 20 million Horny ppl at any given second on the roads. Now you know why India is so populated.

Driving around in India is like stress relief for people. Say your colleague at office took your promotion opportunity away, you get on the road and don't allow anyone to pass without really annoying them. you had a fight with your wife in the morning , no problems become a kamikaze and hit some one real hard have a fight bust some one or get busted in either case you will feel relieved.

The bicycle riders in my city ride their bicycles in rows not columns in a zig-zag pattern. Honk as much as you want, the lyranx of your horn will pass out but they won't budge. I mean how horny can you be, its a test.

I've noticed that they married ppl specially with kids tend to drive way faster than normal ppl. They want to get home as soon as possible, their dear wives holding on to the seat with their dear lives. I wonder what goes on in the husbands head " Get home soon, get home soon, don't look at the shopping mall, don't say anything related to shopping".

The City Bus drivers are work of art. They drive like a mad elephant in heat. heat as in " did'nt have sex in a very long time". They can kill you.

The rikshaw drivers are like those annoying fleas and gnats that pester poor dogs. They can test your patience. They Chuck a U turn in 10th of a second right in front of you. will overtake you and then slow down to find passengers, and stop instantly as soon as he sees one. Who cares if there is poor you behind him.

Lets talk about the Kamikaze drivers, these are the ones who are full of testosterone or progesterone depending on the sex. they dont know what breaks are for. You got to stay out of their way coz they can put your type on endangered species list.

Driving is already like motor-cross in my city; there are poth-holes that can make your brain rattle, the only roads that remain untainted are where the high powered politicians live, work and shop. I don't want to say anything about the poor cows on the road. Poor cows, they signed their own doom.

The Poor Cow

Anyways, i think that all these exiting road life should not go to waste I formally invite all the people out there to come visit and take this Road Ride ride. I mean this can give you more kick than all the narcotics put together. You've seen the worlds scariest roller-coaster but once you have experience Road Ride, scariness will be defined on a new level. Visit the !ncredible India.