Sunday, May 10, 2009

My best friend Moses

There he was standing in the computer lab, one of the only 2 Indians who took that subject, Computer Fundamentals. Now , how can an Indian be not good at Computers. Moses is good at computers, but he wanted to show off his skills.

25 pcs in the lab, some as old as my grandfather, i pulled them apart and put them back together and then pulled them apart again for the students to perform their tutorial. I neatly put the spare-parts of each pc in separate cardboard boxes, with the name of each student on it, Moses picked it up and put his card board box on his working desk, poised, confidant.

After 10 mins into the practical i was summoned, there I met Moses, his face lit up as soon as he saw me. "LOOK I FOUND AN INDIAN, AND I THOUGHT I WAS THE WONLY ONE!!". After few weeks he became my good friend.

The Wierd Moses:

I am Hindu and he is Christian, he was new in Sydney, so we went out one Sunday and found out his Church. He asked my to give him company on the first day.

The Church was huge, as soon as we entered the Church the pastor gave us the mike to introduce ourselves, silence, Moses got the Hibbi Gibbies, so I took the mike, to stop the embaressment and introduced overselves. he was wondering " what do i do with my hand" like the movie Talladega nights. His stupor was mind blowing.

After the Church we went to Starbucks, (here the wierdness started). I ordered a flat white, Moses ordered " Herbal Coffee", which they don't serve. here goes the conversation:
Moses : " I want herbal coffee"
shop assistant : " we serve herbal tea sir, if thats what you mean" (she meant: "funny hahaha")
Moses : " no no, I want herbal coffee"
shop assistant : " we dont have that in our menu, you may choose any other from the 300 flavours we serve, how about a herbal tea"
Moses : " nope, herbal coffee"
shop assistant : " sir we cant do that"
Moses : " Ok let me come inside, i will make it myself"
shop assistant : " Sir....." I cut her out
me : " Just give him a capucchino, he is new here"

That woman kept staring at us all the way, till we finished the coffee, and Moses got his herbal Coffee, he dropped two Butter Menthol in it.

Dont ask me, IT TASTES HORRIBLE. Nestle would say NO NO NO...dont do this to our product.

So this is the list of his wierdness
  • He puts butter menthol in his coffee
  • He dries himself with a hair drier after bath, doesn't use a towel, takes him 1 hour to dry.
  • He uses his train pass on the last day by exiting and entering the magnetic gates, till its 12 am when the pass expires. He wanted to do that just to check. he got caught doing that, got a fine. Moses sued the railway ppl and won the case.
  • He puts coke in his rice.
  • He ate his dinner once for 5 hours, I am not kidding, he started at 9:30 and finished at 3:30 am. (DON'T ASK ME HOW).
  • He is the only guy I ever knew who gets into a supermarket and stays inside for 3 hours. I vowed never to go shopping with Moses.
  • He gives headaches to he Chinese people. They hate Moses.
  • He carries 2 spoons , a fork, ketchup, sugar and salt sachets in his bag, with paper napkins that he collects from every McDonald's we go.
  • He also carries a pair of pants and shirt, just in case.
  • Oh also the soap, and moisturizing cream, and sun tan lotion and sunscreen lotion. (I don't know why he carries a sun tan lotion!!!!!)
  • He smokes the ciggies the other way around, he says he needs to filter the air first.
  • He fills up bourbon and coke in separate glasses and sips from both glasses at the same time.
  • He has mixed a coke, fanta, sprite in one, and drank it.
  • He goes to the beach at 12 AM at night for a swim and only in winters.
  • He also tried to get Armani and Tommy Hilfiger perfumes mixed, coz he liked both.
  • He got an Armani suit for $5000 and he was not the first one to wear it.
  • He asks for a hot coke when we go for lunch at Oporto.
  • He puts the coke in microwave to make it worm, he says cold coke hurts his throat.
The Great Moses:
  • My best friend, my mentor, my family in the foreign land.
  • Never forgot my birthday.
  • We went through all kind of shit together, never left my side ever.
  • His conviction, determination and dedication to finish what he started, amazes me, I have read about such things only in autobiographies of great men of these world.
  • I bet that no one , I mean no one can match his mental capacity to bear the brunts of life.
  • The man is a machine, he used to three jobs at the same time and studied at two universities at the same time.
  • His name reflects his personality without any doubts.
  • He always keeps his promises, no matter what he looses in return.
  • He helps everyone who asks for help, If he can't, he will find someone who can.
Moses sometimes has stayed awake for a week without sleeping, when he made up his mind, he did it.

He used to take-up other people's shifts so that they don't loose their jobs and so that they won't miss University.

He would empty all his savings for you, if you show him that your conviction is genuine.

HE IS A TERRIBLE TENNIS PLAYER.


IF I COULD EVER BE HALF THE MAN THAT MOSES IS. I AM HONOURED TO HAVE SUCH A FRIEND AND PROUD TO KNOW A PERSON LIKE HIM.


MOSES I HAVE LOST YOU FOR NOW, BUT IF YOU EVER READ THIS, KNOW THIS THAT I LOVE YOU AND I MISS YOU MY BROTHER.

3 comments:

Sorcerer said...

and the much awaited post..
brilliant

lucky to have buddies like him

Yemiledu said...

I hope Moses reads this...
It was fun and honor knowing him..

санжог said...

Oh he is around, we talk on the phone sometimes