Wednesday, October 14, 2009

IT trouble shooting

At my job I was told to monitor the network and check on people stuffing it. So my sniffer is working and I see lines of network jargon moving upwards.

I saw a spike, checked it some one was visiting pornsite, and you know that once you have seen a naked lady you want to see all of em.

I found that there was this student sitting in one of the labs on a corner computer,
he was sitting low on his seat, like those street racers with his back towards a glass wall, that was really stupid coz anyone passing by could see what he was doing.

So I stood behind the glass wall, saw what he was doing. I thought of letting it go, but my boss came around too. I told my boss I'll handle this .... he is just doing what a Man does.

I went to this bloke, and here is the conversation:

ME : Hey buddy, How are ya doing?

Him : I am doing great (puts his bag on his "stiffy")

ME : Good, good, so you'r doing your assignments..right?

Him : Yeah, shit load of stuff.

ME : Yeah, tell me about it, anyways....how much bucks have you got on you?

Him : ...may be around $200?Why?

ME : GET LAID!!

HIM : What? (It dawned on him)..oh ...(ALt+F4....ALT+F4)

ME: That one is really cute...but she dont belong to the UNIVERSITY LABS.

I bet his penis did a 360.
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ME : Randwick Pizza hut, how may I help you?

Janet from the library : My coffee holder isn't working anymore..JOE

ME : Janet that's your CD player (drive), stop using it to hold your coffee cup!!

Apparently she received an email from me with a link saying "free coffee cup holder", when she pressed it, out came the CD drive.

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Roslyn form the PR : hi Joe, Every time I turn on my radio my computer turns off.

Me : Ok, I'll come up and fix it.

When I went to her office I found that she was running a toster, kettle,Radio, printer, computer, monitor and heater from the same wall socket. She had used so many extentions that it looked like a mini nuclear reactor power station.

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Peter, my boss : " Pick up the phone, Joe"

ME : "hello, Joe here"

Cathy from the Marketing department: " Can I speak to Peter please"

(I turned to my boss and I wispered him its Cathy...My boss (a Marist brother) took few steps back and made a cross with his index fingers, and wispered " KEEP HER AWAY FROM ME"

me : OK....Cathy... Peter's not here right now...Is there anything I can do?

Cathy : yeah...I got a software to install on my pc which Peter gave me...but I am not able to install it. It asks me to press "any" key on the keyboard, but I can't find it.

Me : Oh, I understand, no problems Cathy...I'll get it fixed... can you give me 15 mins...I'll be there in your office.

Cathy : Ok...Thanx joe.

So I went to HarrisTechnology with Peter, bought an "any" key. Went to Cathy's office and replaced F12 with "ANY" key.

9 comments:

Sorcerer said...

ROFLMAO
hey! nice ones there bro!

Google says :reddysx

what the heck ready sex?

санжог said...

thanx bro, it's rice plate reddy. Quick mugran's got to stay away from him

Uncommon Sense said...

nice,, but i have heard some of them before

санжог said...

yeah, I know...things spread quickly...but I'd bet my life on this...these incidents are real

susie said...

rofl...

Yemiledu said...

hey the last two were really funny!
There is so much humor in our lives everyday..... :~)

The last but one is really really nice.lol

surveygirl46 said...

You I T people must thing were total dweebs cuz of the stuff we mess up LOL

санжог said...

No not at all, At that time I knew one thing very well, I HATE MICROSOFT WINDOWS.

Nothing wrong with people.

I have learnt that Questions are never wrong, need to find the correct answer is the trick.!

I don't do IT no more. HA HA HA HA HA HA

Written said...

ha ha ha ha ha ha ad infinitum.

Hilarious!!