Saturday, January 23, 2010

Question answer time

Although it seems that things have changed a lot, I think that they have just improvised a bit, like we used to wear hide and look stupid, now we wear a suit and a tie on a hot summer day and look stupid!

Because I spent a really really long time in Australia, now I am culturally half Australian. My first visit to India after a long spell, really got me thinking, the city seems the same, the smells feel the same, I recognize all the places I used to love and feel good about being back, the cow dung, potholes, dogs, cows, donkeys, buffaloes....It's my home alright.

It's the next few days when things started falling apart for me. I realized how much I have changed. The incessant honking of the horns on the street. People having loud conversations on their cell. It was annoying me a lot. And mostly how people could not talk without touching me or running their hands on my shoulder.

I was waking on the street, and this guy on a motor bike decided to spit while driving....I was sprayed with beetle nut juice...ruined my esprit t-shirt.

One day one of my far far away relative to pay me a visit. It was a proposal for his daughter. I'd never met this girl in my life. I don't know anything about her.

Their family decided to leave me and that girl alone for us to talk.

Here is the conversation/ interrogation question paper sheet:

My turn for asking:

Q1. what kind of guy are you looking for, you know...to spend the rest of your life with?
Ans: Decent, soft-spoken, intelligent, down to earth, well-settled, healthy, well groomed, charming, handsome, dark, tall... (ME: Thats all?...I am pretty sure you missed some. ME: Honey you need to go to a shrink)

Q2. If you had a chance to do something in life, what would it be?
Ans: I want to be an enginneer and a house wife. (Me: I thought you'd say world peace or work for UN and save Ethopia)

Q3. If your parents agree, would you get married to me?
Ans:  I am ok with what my parents choose for me.

Q4 But you don't love me, we met for like 5 mins....you don't even know me... how did you decide that I will keep you happy?
Ans: I think so... ( Me: OK, I feel sorry for this girl, so sad...They have programed her)



I donnot but I dont ask much, so i kind of....said....your turn...shoot

Her turn for asking:
Q1. What do you do?
Ans: Many things, but mostly I concentrate on vital things like  breathing, eating, farting, pissing, shitting....in-short  living.


Q2. Do you work?

Ans: I hope so, most people think I work just fine, but I believe that I do not work out for many people that well.

Q3. What is your occupation?

Ans: I herd Cattle. Kind of a cowboy, only I am not that macho.

Q4. Do you eat non-veg food?
Ans: Oh, well my room-mate is Dr. Lecter Hanibal and he says that If  I ask him what I ate, I wouldn't like it.

Q5. Do you have a girl-friend?
Ans: Yes, she is 1.8 liter DOHC, 120Kw, Lancer MR, I modified her myself, It took me three months. Bought her from an Auction.

Q6. Do you have a house?
Ans: Nope, I am a nomad. Cattle herding does not require it....Do you know how to milk Cow?

 Q7. What are your hobbies?
Ans: Hobbies?  reading books, singing songs, swimming, lawn tennis, table tennis, badminton, cricket, golf, rock climbing, para gliding ....I don't do any of it, I smoke pot for recreation.

Q8. How many children do you want?
Ans: Errr... excellent question, definitely, positively  impressed...you are so smart, but how many can you produce?

Q9 Your mom said you were sick, what happened to you?

Ans: ADD, schizophrenia, sever depression and many more. But the doctor says we are all fine now. I am on happy pills, they keep me happy...oops time to pop one now!


And later I went out to meet this girl who was real fast, so fast...

She went like this:

She: So....Mr. Australia....you looking good, how many girls have you slept with. ( Oh alright, she called me Mr. Australia....and she is asking for my score card. Wonderful !! and that's just her opening sentence )

Me: I am fine thank you for asking........anyways...How many do you think?

She: Atleast 4

Me: You can tell that just by looking at my face?

She: I think so.

Me: what else do you think I do?....don't answer...I'll pass that... Thanx for meeting me...It was great to know about myself.

24 comments:

Sorcerer said...

Nice...

Yes, she is 1.8 liter DOHC, 120Kw, Lancer MR, I modified her myself, It took me three months. Bought her from an Auction.

YOU RWAK!!!
LONG LIVE..the CLAN

Vamsi said...

@ sanjog,

yes.

nice read.

cheers !

Sakshi said...

Wow!! You just gave me enough fodder to make sure what to say when I am put through this situation(which I hope does not happen) but- For sure- Awesome insight- You gave me.

SilverNeurotic said...

Poor girl, you gotta feel sorry for her.

shanaz@MyReverie said...

A freaking proposal! Don't they already know you're taken by someone. Oh well, they might just not get it. Lovely post as usual. =) Enjoyed it much.

Mr.Australia needs to go back to Australia, I think. He he.

NoFaIrYtAlE said...

Nomad?! Wow that wz soo funny!!! :D

Yemiledu said...

entertraining....

but feel sorry for the gal :~P
Programmed most of the gals are..:~(

Chocolate Lover said...

hehehehehe! LOL
poor gal! :P

Wicked Witch of the West said...

Funny!!

I am assuming that you are not now engaged...although of course your answers did make you sound much more interesting than someone answering to impress (who would of course hide all the realllly interesting facts about themself).

Such an Australian question this girl asked you too!

Interesting that you found yourself annoyed by the honking...an Indian friend who is now back in Mumbai says that he hates it so much now and that he has started yelling at people at least once a day.

санжог said...

@saucer
YEAH...4 piston caliper brakes, custom intake valves, extractors, eibach suspension...love...true love.

@Vamsi

Thanx buddy

@ Sakshi
Best of luck

@ Silver neurotic
It's unbelievable, i tried to put sense in her about something called "independent thinking" although I was not giving her lecture...but she just didn't get it.

@ shanaz

Girl...welcome to my world...I absolutely hate when someone stereotypes me, I dont know but Mr.Australia made me want to have a concussion.

@Nofairytale
Thanx for the comment strong girl. I tell the truth!!

@yemiledu

there are many out there, I wish they learn to dream and find themselves.

@chocolate lover
Oh she was not poor, she was just too programed.

@WWW
Oh..that I got from my Aussie friends...most Aussies are down to earth....it feels better..I am at peace with whatever bad or good I have...

Tell me about it!!...many here think that guys like me are members of the "Mile High Club". I am definitely not a poser...neither do I have a score card.

I hate honking so much that I have stopped driving in the city...as a matter of fact I live on the outskirts now. We don't possess driving sense..it's like Indy car rally.

Uncommon Sense said...

love or arranged, it doesnt make much difference,, i guess u cant know a person even if u have spend years with them,, wether u know or dont know, things are bound to go wrong..

regarding the post, i felt sorry for the first girl..

sulagna said...

and she saw your face and gauged your score card..hmmmm...interesting i say




word verification ?? high standards ha :)

PS the Pratsie said...

haha... guess u met the kind of gals you DONT wanna get married to :) nice blog !

sulagna said...

tell me did she know about you pehle se or just a hunch ??hmmm

ya ya...i am asking about your score card details which she gave you

санжог said...

@ Sulagna

The last one..nope..I don't know why she asked that question..but it completely turned me off...if you ask me!!

I don't think women as trophy....but i do respect them...I can't explain it..they shared something intimate with me...and I think it took away my frustrations and stress...so it's just not nice to bragging about it.

санжог said...

@PS

We all do that...don't we!!

Chhaya said...

You have been tagged again!!

details @ my blog

btw, i will be back to read ur post :)

Quirky said...

Lol...Y y y did u run away from that fast girl... that conversation would have been so much fun for us to read ;)

karan a said...

Lol... dude tha was just amazing!

How many children do you want?
hhahahha... drove me nuts!!!

Enjoy...

quilly said...

I can't believe she kept asking you questions -- or that she agreed to see you again!

санжог said...

@Chayya
working on it

@Quirky

Ofcourse you do...but i know which road it will lead me to..it rhymes too.

@karan a

thanx bro

@quilly

the second one is a different person

Wicked Witch of the West said...

Hmm definitely a good thing to be at peace with the good and bad - especially as the 'good' or 'bad' is largely a subjective...and makes someone much more interesting to know if they are not all shiny polished veneer.

Interesting that you say that there is no road sense there - as I felt that in many ways there was a lot more road sense in India than in Australia. Here, whether driver or pedestrian, people are only concerned with being in lanes, noticing traffic lights etc, and in about half of cases, being alert to indicators. Which makes them so unprepared for the unexpected which is inevitable given the flawed human creatures we are. While I would be scared to drive in India (apart from in Goa) as I am not used to it, I really did think that people were so much more alert and also lacked the aggression of many drivers here (apart from at tolls when some would always try to push in - at which point I would show my Australian aggressiveness :D)

санжог said...

@ WWW

You are right about that australians are too used to indicators...and some people are too stupid....oh the aggression in drivers in Oz is definately more than indians.

specially in my city... people are very mild and would avoid fights at any cost.

susie said...

Bwahahahahaaah sanju awesome !! simply awesome :D :D