Thursday, January 7, 2010

Dream-- the killer clown with table fan

when I was a kid I used to get bullied a lot. But I was not the silent type either, I had a brain good enough to get back at them, which of course when got caught ended up with more violence. Most of the time I'd stand up against my adversaries and get beaten up black and blue later, coz my feeble attacks won't do much difference. And on top of this my mom would punish me for getting into a fight which rounded things up.

Oh, in case you are wondering what I do to get back, here are some tips for newbees in revenge business:

  1. Take a key that fits into your opponent's bike and break it in the lock!!
  2. Stick "Kick me, I need one" on your opponents back. (this needs a lot of practice)
  3. Always keep a blade handy, I use it to tear off pants from the back side. shaving blades are so sharp that the enemy won't suspect. Pray to God that he is not wearing undies that day!
  4. I got a ink pen in which i'd let the ink into the cap, so when the bully opens it, you can be there to laugh!
  5.  I'd put water on the chair that i want to sit on later. The bully will ofcourse think "ewww".
  6. I always remember the punches and then I get back atleast after three months, out of the blue. Surprise!!
  7. Pick you nose! people will take you for granted! They'd think you are an idiot, gross! and mostly won't bother you thinking you are dirty to even touch.
  8. Fart if you can!
  9. Always take evasive actions, use brain more than brawl. you'd loose more with straight fights than using tactical war-fare. Wait...patience is the key.
THE DREAM

During my child-hood...my guess is because of the above stated problem I used to get this recurring dream.

I'd be running on stairs of this very tall building climbing as something keeps following me. My mind is racing to find a way to evade my enemy. I am scared shitless, my heart's thumping hard against my chest. My lungs are burning with fatigue. I don't even have strength to scream.

But I keep running to the top of the building (it's funny coz i must have climbed a hell lot of stairs, it's like hero of a B-grade movie, he won't die till the director wants him to). Some how even though I was slow my enemy was not able to get me!!


At last I was on the roof, I ran towards the ledge. I saw my enemy, he looked like one of those freaky clowns from a horror movie. He had a weapon in his hand. It was a table fan, which was working to my surprise without electricity,...... actually it looked more like an exhaust fan. It had a grill on it!!

I was thinking, I don't see it connected to any power socket, and it was really stupid coz the fan won't do much harm as it had grill on it!!

But I was freaked out. He lunged towards me , but he did not fell. He was very strong, I could feel his rage. How badly he wanted to kill me by blowing wind on my face with that table fan!! I was walking backwards. Now i was standing on the ledge, I could see the earth bellow!

I never felt so much hatred coming from a clown, I wanted to ask him "what did I do to you?" While I was thinking he pushed me, I felt it... the funny sensation you get in a ferris wheel. I was falling really very fast. My blood had frozen. THUMP I had fallen off my bed. A part of my adrinaline junkie mind was thinking wow what a rush. The other was scared to go back to sleep. The latter won and I watched cartoon all night. Which pissed off my parents and I got grounded. "no TV for you FOREVER".

This dream came often, untill one day I took control over my dream, and remembered to carry a parachute with me. Coz eventually I was going to be pushed off the ledge. To my surprise the freaking clown could fly, and he still carried that table fan with him.

I thought, this is mad! why would that idiot not let go of the freakin table fan and carry something useful like a 9mm gun or a skythe, or a machette. I was thinking, my life sucks so much that even the freaking clown is not bothered to carry something nice to kill me. Thinking how pathetic my enemy was, I just stopped. I thought I'd rather commit suicide than die with a table fan!!

So in my dream I raced towards some real hard boulders on the ground hit hard and died, free, happy and woke up with tears in my eyes!! But I was relived!

14 comments:

TJ Lubrano said...

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

I started reading your post all happy and then...then...IT!

*runs away in fear*

Yemiledu said...

Tips to take revenge were good.I wanna implement some atleast soon.

And the dream part was gooood! I know it must have not been any good to the dreamer. But I feel such scary dreams make us become stronger. Hmm I feel so...

And the climax was good :) I hope you are not getting that dream any more.

Sakshi said...

Whats with the gory stories and weird dreams?
Btw- ON RECORD- I am way older than 18.. and if you estimated my age from my picture- You are adorable.

Saurabh Panshikar said...

Never been bullied is school... But will consider your tips *copy pastes them quickly*

The dream was freaky!

Even I had one last week...

I am riding on an highway at night and suddenly this monster kinda man unleashes a herd of buffaloes (with deadly horns) to tackle me... Then I make some rajni-sque maneuvers and escape later to find that my thigh has been slashed by some "horny" buffalo!

Can you suggest wat does it mean? M I getting married?

санжог said...

@sau

It looks like that!! may be its the farmville!! try a dairy farm!!

farh said...

:))

i love the revenge tips :D

санжог said...

@far

I knew it!!

Written said...

The revenge tips are really cute, he he. The best way to outdo your enemy through slow mental torture. My kind of revenge trick. :)

The dream story was very vivid and and for some reason, I felt that the angry clown was your conscience, which you might beg to differ. He he.

The part where you chose to die instead of fighing the lunatic clown was the classic letting-go moment. Reminded me of a song by Gary Jules, called "Mad World." The part where he sang "And I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad, The dreams in which I'm dying, Are the best I ever had.."

санжог said...

@ written

my own dream reminds me of pb shelley's poem:
I silently laugh at my own cenotaph,
And out of the caverns of rain,
Like a child from the womb, like a ghost from the tomb, I arise and unbuild it again.

Sorcerer said...

muaahahaha my friend
muaahahahahahah

Ajit said...

About that key and bike thing try inserting a small stick inside the keyhole it works just fine with minimum of effort.

Uncommon Sense said...

lol tht was cool, i was bullied too in my child hood.

my dream used to be like this, this 3 guys kidnap me in autorikshaw and they grab my groin, and keep squeezing it.. but those dreams were not repetitive..

table fan stuff was cool

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susie said...

i like the revenge tips :D