I have been saved twice because either one of my friend or me, badly wanted to go to the toilet .
Well it was a beautiful summer weekend...about eleven-ish in the morning. My friend came to my home...we decided to pick-up other idiots and go for a fishing trip near Newcastle and then head towards Woolgoolga...need to find a fishing spot where few venture. Woolgoolga is whoop whoop land...we planned it perfectly.... ( whoop whoop land is ...where there is no one...I invented that term!!)
Ugly sticks---Check (fishing rods)
We even carry a portable gas-stove with us...and it always stays in the car...coz we usually don't plan...we just go for it.
Well we sat in the car...and I realized that I forgot my wallet in the house...and my friend needed to use the loo.
My friend bolted like a 100 meter sprinter...I was wondering why the hell was he holding it upto to point that he would explode!!
I just opend the porch gate...and I heard a loud WHAAAMMMM. I turned around and my car was gone!!
A soccer mom drove her V6 Land Cruiser Prada over my car...i mean OVER my car literally. She had 5 kids inside. She dragged my car to about 40 meters...she had her hands over her ears and eyes tight shut...she was screaming even after the car had stopped. Her car had Mounted my CAR.
NOTHING....absolutely nothing happened to her Prada...she had a freakin heavy bull bar in front....it just got a little scratches on it's chrome. My car was a write-off. My favorite fishing rods...tackle box..everything gone!!
I pulled out a chair for her...gave her a glass of water...paramedics...arrived...Every one was so sympathetic for her even me...except my heart got crushed...my first love passed away!!
Her reason for accident was SUN...she managed to crash into a parked car....because she got glare in her eyes ( GOOD ONE !!) and she also said that she was driving under the speed limit! ( REALLY!!!) My guess is she was doing atleast 70 Km/hour...
My car was a sedan and it became a hatch back...the rear seat was in the front...and my ugly sticks were embedded in the rear seat's metal back. Including my tool kit....fortunately the gas-stove did not go off. It looked like my car was wearing a TUTU.
I would say that we were saved by piss...if we were still in the car we'd have been dead.
It was my turn to visit the supermarket to get grocery...as usual I forgot my wallet at home...but I had 50 dollars in my jeans..I always do that...in case I forget...coz I did not have ANY CAR, I had to walk 2 kms to get to the supermarket.
I picked up the trolley with stuff in it and headed back home...the bloody trolley would go side ways!! it was hard controlling it...and after a kilometer I realized that I need to go to the toilet...and the pressure was mounting my bladder was about to burst...there are no public loos on the way...that's why I FORGOT TO USE THE LOO IN THE SHOPPING MALL.
The pressure gives a person enormous strength...I started running....hoping to make it to home on time...i even kept the key in my hand....coz I know it is when you stop...the accident can happen. The freaking trolley went side ways all the time....but I WAS A MAN ON A MISSION.
BUT NO...How can everything go alright. A tall- well built 17 year-old kept following me...and he stopped me...and asked me to empty my pockets....this is how it went:
Attacker: Bro empty your pockets or you go home on a strecher.
( OH! GREAT....I want to go MAN...I need to get to the toilet...GOD..)
Me: I don't have any...I left my wallet at home...here is 5 dollars...take it...also you can have what's in the trolley. ( I was dancing while I was talking....)...buddy you got to let me go...may be you can take my number and fix an appointment later...you can have a go at me later...please take a rain-check right now...COZ I REALLY REALLY NEED TO GO TO TOILET.
Attacker: I have never seen any Indian dance like you do!!
ME: If you like it...I'll teach you sometime....I PROMISE...LET ME GO MAN....GOD...I never wet my pants since I left the diapers...I don't want to start now.
Attacker: ha ha ha haha....HA HA HA HA HA....go away man...you are one funny guy!!
ME: Thanx....give me your number we'll hang out some time... (WHY AM I SAYING THIS)...nyways I got to run.........
IT WAS CLOSE....no not about being mugged....I made it to the toilet.