Friday, November 27, 2009

Drunken Ninja friends, who are good at entertaining

That's how every one looks like after being 110% wasted. (she's pretty right!! she's got 2 pairs of everything).

DRUNK FRIEND: *HIC*, I am  Garfg, How did my pants Garfoof-me underwear, and WAAHYY are everyunce flaafling at me.

ME : I'll tell you as soon as I  unknot my stomach.

Ok, to make the short story long, here is how it started.

I don't drink much, I am a social drinker, mostly at dinner/lunch meetings discussing about what's going to be discussed in the next meeting and what color should the carpet be for better feng-shui.

As I work like a mule, I can't drink enough to speak zapalese. But me friends party hard, and 3 of my room-mates bring home 10 of their closest friends, and 15 more tag along as they are the closest friends of the 10 of the closest friends.

I was on night shift most of the week that month, one day after a Good Day's sleep I woke up in the evening having coffee with my 70 year old STUD Italian neighbour, who complained about THE party at my appartment. These are his exact words: "Joe, do you watch Discovery channel? Have you ever seen an animal stamped? Well, there was one going on in your appartment last night, and next time I'll call the RSPCA to get the monkeys into cage, get my drift?"

I said " ok , I'll make sure they invite you next time, lots of girls in there....Alright, don't give me the Don Vito Corleone look, I get it, the offer I can't fukin refuse, I'll tell them to keep it down"

So the Friday night came, and happy hour was in order, with 5 of my friends with 3 Jack Daniels , so that makes us 8. I decided not to drink, coz I had to go out next day early.

Well as expected, 4 of em got pissed,(The fifth element was me, DAZIUGNATED DRIFFEER designated driver in their language ). I mean you could run your car with their fart, F1 fuel.

I decided to take them away, to give thy neighours some rest. took em to Bondi beach. My friends and I were hungry so we decided to get some take-away from burger king (I love their Chicken grill burger). One of my friends knew the manager there, so he went inside to get the order, and meet his manager-friend.

4 of us waited outside, one of them went gaga. There were these 2 Lebanese guys approaching towards us. So our gaga friend stopped them:

GAGA                    : " Two guys, walking alone...enjoying yourself"

One of em            : " HA HA HA, good joke"

GAGA                   : (interrupts them) " No fucking girl friends huh, so  
                              fucking sad"
Both                    : " Airibi (something something in arabic), Vallah! I'll 
                              chop you head off" 

I explained and apologized, coz they had already called their 20 closest cousins. And 6 of their cousins....I knew, so I saved our arses.

Anyways, after eating, we headed back to car, when I suddenly realized  one of the GAGA was missing; Coz he was pissing; right next to a bus stop.

I had no idea what to do, "HOW CAN I STOP A MAN WHO IS PISSING ON PUBLIC PROPERTY",  so I did what I knew the best. I kicked his arse hard with my foot. with piss alover his pants and open fly, I dragged him towards the car.

AND no its not over yet GAGA no 2 went missing, he was taking to these German tourists; 2 men and a woman.


The good thing was that zeir English was poor YA, so they didn't catch the GARFF ya.

I had to restrain these people with seat-belts and climbing-rope I had in my boot. Got them home. 2 got passed out and 2 were about to.

Dragged them to the third floor one by one by their legs, their head's going duuf duuf on the carpeted stairs.

Threw them all in one room, one over the other, made one wear underwear on top of his pants , took a picture and went to sleep. ALL IN A GOOD DAYS WORK.

Next day, they all complained why their mouth tasted like carpet, and obvious extra head ache I gave them.


Written said...

hahahaha GARFF ASS!

Slurred drunken words are funny ONLY when they're drunkenly spoken.

Tehee. Gosh, you know how to tell a story. Thanks Joe for this "awesome" story!

Sorcerer said...

aweshome..shtory buddy.!!

trey shpeeking fedreal eshpress when drunk!!

Anonymous said...

The way you wrote it made it even more funnier.

Uncommon Sense said...

its was a fun read, why ur profile says ahmedabad

санжог said...

coz i am in Ahmadabad right now, moved back.

But most of my life's spent in Oz so that's what I write about.

Mr.Poo said...

Ha ha... I know what you have gone through. I hate it to be around with drunken friends while I’m sober. You just behave like their mummy and don’t understand their behavior. But if you are drunk too, you just follow the leader ha ha...

Saurabh Panshikar said...

cool stuff!

Thanks a lot for taking time to go through my blog. In one way or other you have encouraged me to keep on blogging.
Thanks a lot!

D said...

khi khi khi..... thts ALL u took? ONE picture...... learn some blackmailing tips frm Saucer...

But i do feel sorry for you.... ur friends seem inclined to getting themselves into MAJOR trouble...

this didn happen in India rite? else u would find a bunch of drunk AND sobre men pissin on public property!!!

Anonymous said...

Happy New Year!
Have a wonderful year ahead!
Busy these days?? Miss your posts :(